'The idea is well and good in theory, but tell me this, who is going to
feed them?'
Wicklow Councillor objects to a proposal to boost tourism by putting
gondolas on Blessington Lake.
'That mail used to be handled by hand, now it's handled manually.'
Chief Executive of An Post, John Hines.
'The referendum went as most people hoped it would'
Irish Times editorial displaying acute understanding of the Democratic
Process.
'Clap your feet!'
Bernie of the Nolan Sisters.
'When I said they'd scored two goals, of course I meant they'd scored one.'
RTE Commentator George Hamilton
'What we are doing is in the interest of everybody, bar possibly the
consumer.'
Aer Lingus spokesman.
'Deep down I'm a very shallow person.'
Charles Haughey.
'I can hold a note and I know I'm not ugly so, in ways, that's enough.'
Keith Duffy of Boyzone.
Larry Gogan: 'With what town in Britain is Shakespeare associated?'
Contestant: 'Hamlet'.
Job Application Form: Do you support the overthrow of the Government by
force, subversion or violence?
Applicant: Violence.
Larry Gogan: 'What do you call a female cow?' ....
THOSE DISGRACEFUL MADONNA PICTURES - FOUR PAGE SPECIAL INSIDE The Sun
VIOLENCE DELAYS PEACE - LENIHAN
Irish Times
DOG SHOOTS MAN
Evening Press
DEAD MAN INJURED IN CRASH
Irish Times.
'A top level Garda internal inquiry is being held in Connemara into an
allegation that a local garda shot a cow .... There has been no statement
from the cow.'
Irish press.
Interviewer: 'Is it not dangerous to sell people knives called Rambo
Knives?'
Shopkeeper: 'I wouldn't say so, a lot of them can't spell'
'I was called out to a non-existent phone call. When I returned I lifted my
glass, smelled and said 'My God, this is foul, it smells like piss'. A
voice from the back called out, 'We know, but whose?'
Wine connoisseur T.P. Whelehan at a tasting in Trinity College.
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