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  Insurance Claim Bloopers


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Below are actual insurance claim form gaffes.
These are NEW (mostly), and are from the collection
made by Norwich Union for their annual Christmas mag..... but ... they've escaped.
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"First car stopped suddenly, second car hit first car and a haggis ran into the rear of second car."

"Windscreen broken. Cause unknown. Probably Voodoo."

"Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have."

"I started to slow down but the traffic was more stationary than I thought."

Q: Could either driver have done anything to avoid the accident?
A: Travelled by bus?

A Norwich Union customer collided with a cow.
The questions and answers on the claim form were:
Q - What warning was given by you? A - Horn
Q - What warning was given by the other party? A - Moo

"I started to turn and it was at this point I noticed a camel and an elephant tethered at the verge. This distraction caused me to lose concentration and hit a bollard."

"On approach to the traffic lights the car in front suddenly broke."

"I was going at about 70 or 80 mph when my girlfriend on the pillion reached over and grabbed my testicles so I lost control."

"I didn't think the speed limit applied after midnight"

"I knew the dog was possessive about the car but I would not have asked her to drive it if I had thought there was any risk."

"The other car collided with mine without giving warning of its intention."

"I thought my window was down, but I found out it wasn't when I put my head through it".

"I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way".

"In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole."

"I had been shopping for plants all day and was on my way home. As I reached an intersection a hedge sprang up obscuring my vision and I did not see the other car."

"I was on my way to the doctor with rear end trouble when my universal joint gave way causing me to have an accident."

"My car was legally parked as it backed into the other vehicle."

"The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth"

"I was thrown from the car as it left the road. I was later found in a ditch by some stray cows."

"An invisible car came out of nowhere, struck my car and vanished."







If you have any enquiries, complaints or suggestions please e-mail me at earrings@eircom.net